There is a quote by George Sand that states: There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved. Our beautiful Lucille Ball quote states; Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Powerful quotes don't you think?
As I sit and write this post today, I can't help but feel the nostalgia of life itself. How God has created me through my parents and given me the mind body and spirit of love. The love I have for myself as well as the love I give and receive from others some known and some unknown still love.
Not speaking of a romantic love just your everyday agape love of love of life itself. As I write this I think of how my life changed some 30 years ago when I became a mother what an amazing gift. Weather you create them, give birth to them or simply just take them to be yours. A child is such an amazing blessings.
I remember my grandmother sitting me down and telling me that now you are bringing a life into this world. Your life as you know it is now over as this great gifted responsibility is yours to care for love and guide until it's able to do for it's self.
So, if your going some where your child can not go. That means you can't go either. Given I haven't even begun to live my life there was never nothing to compare it to so I embraced motherhood and parenting. And now today I can say 30-some years and two children later. It was tough at times but it was so well worth every thing that I went through to get here.
Just like the fairy tales at the stroke of midnight August 12, 1988 the Lord blessed me with a position I was not ready for but he prepared me along the way. The story is to long to tell in one post so I provide you with high lights. Long story short during my growing up years I spent a lot of time by myself even though I had siblings I always manage time to enjoy myself, sitting Indian style in my room mediating and dreaming up this wonderful life that I was planning for myself. The person I was going to be but when my dreams didn't match my reality I had to adjust, adapt and regroup. Today I know that everything that happen to me happen for me.
You don't really appreciate your parents so much as you do when you become a parent yourself. You know the saying, " What you do comes back to you." So grateful for the journey my life changed but my dreams, oh they lived deep within me and becoming a parent made it grow even more. I didn't know how a lot of days but I figured it out. I wore my cape like no one else. When you want to be better and do better for your family. No excuses are good enough for the reason why your not creating it and make it happen.
As I reflect upon the journey to where I am now all I can say is, Thank You Lord for loving me in spite of the days that I may have not loved myself. One thing for sure I never stopped loving you Lord. The years of sacrifice of putting others before me has finally paid off. How you say, I will tell you the sacrifices and choices I made have gotten me through some of the roughest times of my life yet I am still here giving it all that I got to give and helping others along the way.
Today is a day of reflection and rejuvenation, today I plan to begin my new journey not free of responsibility but free from all that was supposed to hold me down and back in life. I learned early on in life that if your life is going to be worth something it's going to be you to make it so.
A message passed down for many generations as nothing was ever given without you earning it, working for it or proving that you were worthy of having it. And if you didn't get it you only had you to blame.
I created my life in a bubble like no other, many try to associate me with places and people I don't recall knowing or being. One could say I live a hermit life but believe me I was no angel and I did my dirt along the journey but not to where it stopped me from believing that I too could one day make a life that I created and love so much. The journey is different now and I have so much to be grateful for as each day I awake to continue to give love and receive love and not just from my family.
As I begin this new journey I realize that I am in a space and time that allows me the freedom to go and do as I please without any cares except to maintain keep safe and return from whatever destination I may choose. Overcoming life challenges isn't always easy but it's so worth it once you achieve the level of life you want to live. I still have my good and bad days but every day is a good day above ground don't you think?
God gives us so much and all he/she ask in return is to believe trust and follow your heart. Believe in yourself and truly the rest will follow. I am forever learning something new about me, life and the people in and around it. It took a long time to be able to celebrate the wins in life only because there is always something to do in life. I now realize that this life I live will never be complete until the day I no longer have breathe. So until then I am going to live out my dreams as they begin to manifest in my life. I am going to live like I have never lived before because I know that no matter what happens in my life that as long as I am able. I have the ability to do whatever I set my mind to do and make it the best I can make it.
Life is funny sometimes, we win, we lose, we love, we forgive, we live with no regrets at all. Because when you have love, you may not have everything but you will have all that you need.